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How to Raise Responsible Kids: What the Research Says About Chores

By Ernesto Franco · September 28, 2026 · 9 min read

SHORT ANSWER: Give your son or daughter real, regular work that the family actually depends on, starting as early as age 2 or 3. In a study of 9,971 U.S. children, those who did chores in kindergarten felt more competent socially and academically by third grade. Keep the tasks small, tie them to a fixed moment of the day, accept imperfect results, and give boys and girls the same jobs.

Do chores actually make kids more responsible?

The evidence points that way, with one honest caveat: nearly all of it is correlational. Families who give children chores differ from families who don't in other ways too. Still, the same pattern shows up across very different studies, decades apart.

StudyWhoWhat it found
White, DeBoer & Scharf, 2019 (University of Virginia) 9,971 U.S. children, followed from kindergarten to 3rd grade More frequent chores in kindergarten went with stronger self-rated social, academic and life-satisfaction competence in 3rd grade, independent of sex, family income and parent education. Doing any chores was linked to better 3rd-grade math scores.
Tepper, Howell & Bennett, 2022 (La Trobe University) 207 children aged 5–13 Both self-care chores (making their own meal) and family-care chores (making a meal for someone else) predicted better working memory and inhibition, two core executive functions.
Vaillant & Vaillant, 1981 (Harvard) 456 inner-city boys, followed from age 14 to 47 Childhood "industry" (regular household chores, part-time jobs, school grades relative to ability, clubs and sports) predicted adult mental health and success better than intelligence, social class or family stability did.
Warneken & Tomasello, 2006 (Max Planck Institute) Toddlers from 18 months Children this young spontaneously help an adult reach a goal, with no reward and no request.
Alcalá, Rogoff et al., 2014 6- to 8-year-olds in two communities in Guadalajara, Mexico Children in the Indigenous-heritage community often did complex family work (cooking, caring for siblings, errands) on their own initiative. Few children in the more Western-schooled community did.

The La Trobe finding is the one that explains why. A chore is a small executive-function workout: remember the steps, hold off something more fun, switch between tasks, check that it's done. Responsibility isn't a personality trait a child either has or doesn't. It's those skills, practised on something that matters.

If chores help, why do so few kids do them now?

A 2014 Braun Research survey of 1,001 U.S. adults found that 82% had regular chores growing up, but only 28% required chores from their own children. The usual reasons are easy to recognise: it's faster to do it yourself, the schedule is already full of practice and homework, and a nine-year-old's folded laundry looks like a nine-year-old folded it.

Every one of those reasons is true in the short term. The research above is about the long term.

What age should kids start doing chores?

Earlier than most parents think. Toddlers already want to help, as Warneken and Tomasello showed with 18-month-olds. The problem is that toddler help is slow and messy, so adults say "no, let me do it", and a few years later they ask why the child never offers.

The Guadalajara study describes the alternative. In families where children contributed on their own initiative, the child's help was treated as a real contribution to shared family work from the start, not as a favour to the parent or a job to be paid. Taking the messy help at three is how you get the unprompted help at eight.

Age-appropriate chores: a list by age

Adapted from the American Academy of Pediatrics' guidance on HealthyChildren.org. Each age group can do everything in the rows above it, too.

AgeChores they can own
2–3Put toys away, put groceries away, get dressed with help
4–5Help feed pets, make their bed (not perfectly), help clear the table after dinner
5–7Set and clear the table, make and pack their school lunch, put dirty clothes in the hamper, sort laundry, water plants, sweep, empty wastebaskets
8–10Vacuum, help make dinner, make their own snacks, walk the dog, put away their own laundry, put groceries away
11–12Clean the kitchen, change bedsheets, unload the dishwasher, wash and fold laundry, clean the bathroom, make simple meals with supervision

Teenagers can take a whole job end to end: plan and cook a family dinner, run their own laundry every week, keep their own calendar. The step up at this age is owning the job without being asked, not a harder task.

How do I get my kids to do chores without a fight?

Seven rules, each tied to something the research above found:

  1. Call it contribution, not help. "We all do this because we live here" beats "can you help me?". The second makes it the parent's job and the child a volunteer. Family-care chores built executive function in the La Trobe study just as much as self-care ones did.
  2. Start with one self-care and one family-care job. One that looks after themselves (packing their own bag) and one that looks after everyone (setting the table). The La Trobe study found both kinds count.
  3. Attach it to a fixed moment. "When we finish dinner, I clear my plate" works better than "clear your plate sometime". Psychologists call this an implementation intention, an if-then plan. A meta-analysis of 94 studies (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006) found it had a medium-to-large effect on actually following through (d = 0.65).
  4. Show it, do it together, then hand it over. A chore a child has never seen done step by step isn't one they can own yet.
  5. Praise the effort, not the result. The AAP's own advice. Re-folding their towels in front of them teaches them that their work doesn't count.
  6. Use consequences, not scolding. Also from the AAP. If the sports bag wasn't packed, the gear stays home. Keep the consequence small and skip the lecture.
  7. Give sons and daughters the same jobs. In 2002 U.S. teen girls did almost twice as much housework as boys, 40.5 minutes a day against 21.4. By 2014 the gap had nearly closed (30 against 26.8), according to University of Michigan time-diary data. Kindergarten chores benefited kids in the UVA study regardless of sex. Every child needs the skills.

Where does Ready Set Remember fit?

Packing their own bag is a self-care chore that happens every day and fails in an obvious way: the water bottle stays on the counter. Ready Set Remember is a free iPhone app that turns that kind of routine into a checklist a child runs themselves. Each child has their own pixel avatar, each activity has its own list, and they tap every item as it goes in the bag. When it's all packed, they get stars to spend in a rewards shop a grown-up sets up.

For the step-by-step method of handing a routine over, see How to teach kids responsibility and independence (without nagging).

Download on the App Store

Frequently asked questions

What age should kids start doing chores?

Around 2 to 3. Toddlers can put toys and groceries away and help dress themselves, and children as young as 18 months already try to help adults on their own. Accepting that early, imperfect help is what builds the habit.

Should I pay my kids for chores?

Separate the two. Basic family work (their plate, their bed, their bag) is something everyone does because they live there. If you want to teach money, pay for extra jobs beyond that. Paying for everything turns contribution into a transaction the child can decline.

Do chores really improve school results?

In the UVA study of 9,971 children, doing any chores in kindergarten was linked to better math scores in third grade. The link is correlational, so chores aren't a proven cause of better grades. They are cheap, low-risk practice at the planning and self-control skills school also depends on.

How many chores should a child have?

Fewer than you think, done every time. One or two daily jobs that take a few minutes, plus one weekly job, teaches more than a long chart that gets half done. Add a job only once the current ones happen without reminders.

What if my child refuses?

Shrink the job, tie it to a fixed moment, and let the natural consequence land instead of arguing. Refusal is often a sign that the task is too big or too vague. "Clean up" is vague. "Shoes in the basket" is not.

Should boys and girls get the same chores?

Yes. Girls historically did far more housework than boys. U.S. time-diary data show the teen gap has narrowed a lot since 2002. The benefits of chores in the research showed up regardless of sex, and both need the same life skills.

And the bedroom that looks like a bomb went off? That has its own guide: how to get kids to be tidy.

Sources

Ready Set Remember is free on the App Store, for iPhone. Questions or ideas: info@readysetremember.com.

Download on the App Store